Why To Never Give Levi A Death Note
by HaganeNoWriter
Summary: What happens when Corporal Levi finds an odd looking notebook fit with instructions in his desk? Apples will fall. Chaos will ensue. Names will be written. Spoilers for the Female Titan's Identity. Crack Fic.


**A/N: Well, this is my first attempt at writing a Crack Fic. This Idea came to me while I was writing the second chapter of _"Tale of Two Dementors" _I plan on updating that soon. I will probably end up posting random oneshots here and there, so look out for more. Also, YES, I am WELL AWARE that the rules of the Death Note aren't exactly accurate in this Fic. I just bent the rules for the purpose of this Fic. Well, that's it. ON WITH THE STORY! XD**

It was a normal day of despair, anguish, and bloodshed within the walls. The titans had claimed wall Maria as their own, and had been assaulting the district of Trost. Eren had been apart of Squad Levi for about a month, then the Female Titan appeared. Their first attempt to capture this monster was to lure it into a trap using Eren as bait. This seemed to have worked, until Squad Levi discovered that this titan could attract other titans with her cry.

The plan had fallen apart after that moment, and their efforts were in vain. Other titans in the area tore apart the titan body, and allowed the pilot to escape, but not before taking the lives of everybody in Squad Levi except for Eren and Commander Levi himself.

I had been a week since that day, and Levi and Eren were both recovering from their last encounter with the Female Titan. Eren was sitting in his barrack alone, no doubt being swallowed by guilt. Levi was busy trying to remove the thoughts of remorse from his head by heavily cleaning his office, trying to scrub away the guilt and shame. As he was cleaning a window, he saw below that Connie, Sasha, Jean, and Annie were taking inventory of their stock and resupplying the food in the mess hall. He finished cleaning the window, and proceeded to make his desk spotless.

Levi was looking through the papers in his desk, and found a strange looking book. It had a black cover, with white letters written on it. The words read "Death Note". Curious, Levi opened the front cover of the book, and read something that seemed to be instructions.

"Hmm, interesting. I can write anybody's name in this book, and they will die?" Levi said with a tone that had both skepticism and curiosity laced into his words.

"You can even specify how they die? Hmmm. I have an idea." Levi said with a smirk. He opened the notebook to the first open page, and got out a pen from his pocket. He sat down, and thought for a moment.

He then pressed his pen to the paper. When he was done writing, the words on the page read:

_Female Titan_

_Death by falling apples._

According to the book, I have to wait six minutes and forty seconds before he would get his result. Levi was waiting for the time to pass, when Eren entered his office with a solemn look on his face.

"Hello, commander Levi, sir. I was wondering if you had any new orders for me." Eren stated with the same expression of depression.

"No, Jaeger. I have no new orders. You seem to have something on your mind. Is everything alright?" Levi asked, bored from waiting for the notebook to activate.

"Not much, sir. I just wish that I could have saved your squad. that's all." Eren said sharply, clenching his fist at his side.

"I wish they were still alive also, Eren." Levi agreed, continuing to clean. He looked down at his watch. Six minutes and thirty seconds had passed. If something were to happen, the next ten seconds would be the time for some falling apples.

"I just feel so angry with myself!" Eren exclaimed, taking an apple out of his pocket. He took it into his hand, and pitched it through the window that Levi had just cleaned. Levi watched as he apple flew through the window, and soared toward where the other members of the scouts were taking inventory. The apple zoomed past an astonished Connie and Sasha, and hit Annie square in the face, and knocked her off of the ladder she was standing on. She fell to the pavement, and became still, blood pooling around her head. Jean and Connie ran over to her, trying to shake her awake, but then they saw the blood. Sasha started screaming. It was chaos.

Levi on the other hand was completely shocked, and turned to look at Eren, who had his hand over his mouth, and his eyes were wide in shock.

"But… I just… What the… Levi?" Eren stuttered. He was at a loss for words. Levi on the other hand was staring at the notebook with wonder. Annie was apparently the Female Titan, and she died exactly how he wrote it to be. With this he could kill all of the titan shifters. He grinned evilly, and looked over to Eren.

"You'd better get some more apples ready, Jaeger." Levi said, smirking.

"Y-Yes, sir." Eren choked out. With that said, Eren sprinted out of the room, thinking Levi had gone insane. The truth was, he probably had.

"They're all going to die!" Levi laughed. Eren was gathering apples in a basket from the food stores. His eyes were wide.

"We're all going to die." Eren whispered to himself.

**A/N: Poor Eren... XD I would NOT want to be in Levi's way. Anyway, as I said, I'm planning to update _"Tale of Two Dementors" _soon, so look out for that. anyway...**

**Until next time...**

**~HaganeNoWriter**


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